i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You were trust falling into bushes
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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