He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
