I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
