Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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