I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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