I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My pussy is not your playground.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
