you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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