I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
