i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
