Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize