Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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