So drunk its hurt
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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