he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
