guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
