I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
