They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize