I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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