just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
