we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
