you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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