I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
