Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
