Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
