i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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