Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
