Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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