The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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