Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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