I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize