My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
