wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
