Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize