her facebook's as public as her vagina
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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