Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
