I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
