remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
