I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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