Having a random hookup so left but love u
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
