can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
