I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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