It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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