Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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