i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
