what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think I won the penis lottery.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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