Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
