i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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