That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
