Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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