I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
