I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
how drunk are you?
Several
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
