Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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