Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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