So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
