youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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