my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
