I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
