were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
