tell your sister to shave her snatch
everyone is single if you try hard enough
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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