do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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