O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
