in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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