apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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