So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
