Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
