yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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