at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
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