therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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