She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
