Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize