Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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