saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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