you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
